Tuesday, 13 September 2016

Review 91 - Don Papa 10 year old

Photo copyright © H.Kristoffersen
Sadly just another doctored bucket of yuck.

Consider this another public service. Why? You’ll find out.

A while ago I subjected my self to the Don Papa 7, and had a really bad time with it.

I’ve had its bigger brother, the Don Papa 10, on my shelf for quite some time now, but so far I’ve not been in the mood to tackle it.

But after a lot of great, rare and interesting rums, I mustered up my nerves and decided that it was time.

Time to see if the 10 would inflict serious damage om my health as the 7 threatened to.

But first things first.

Hailing from the Philippines, Bleeding Heart Rum Company has issued this 10 year old rum, which is actually just their 7 year old with 3 more years of ageing. So we are still talking (multi?) column still, molasses based rum.

To make things more interesting, they decided to bottle it at 43% ABV instead of the 40% of the 7 year old.

Furthermore it is a limited edition – but I found no information on how limited it is.

There is absolutely no information about this product on the Don Papa webpage. I had to consult several online shops for information.

Oh well, that much less time before we actually get to what’s important.

When looking at it, we see a black, thick cardboard tube with a thick cork lid. Interesting and super good looking. No doubt about it.

A lot of effort has been put into the packaging – I hope this is not another case of paying premium price for marketing bullshit and getting a crappy drink.

Inside the tube is an equally pretty bottle.

A stubby bottle, with a massive label which covers almost the entire bottle.

An elaborate piece of art, which is in fact quite impressive.

It is topped off by a natural cork with a wooden stopper.

I have to say that the vessel is super impressive. It does look insanely good on a shelf. Hopefully it can supply me with an experience, which makes it worth the real estate.

”But what is inside the bottle?”, you ask?

A very, very dark mahogany liquid. Seems strange that it can get such a dark colour from just 10 years of barrel ageing (Not really. It’s most probably colouring caramel. I’m just being a douche about it).

It lays down thick curtains on the inside of the glass, which hints things to come.

When putting the nose to the glass, please remember to sniff very lightly.
I didn’t and my face almost fell off due to way too much vanilla and cherry bubble gum.

Thick, thick scents fill the air above the glass.

The above mentioned vanilla and cherry bubble gum, are most dominating.

But also some massive lemon/lime scents, which makes me think more in the direction of cherry cola and sprite.

On the more subtle side, there is some liquorice somewhere in the mix, and just a tiny bit of oak.

I suspect that massive amounts of colouring caramel has been used to achieve the colour.

Okay, so with scents already so thick and cloying that I’m reluctant to smell it again, I wonder what it will taste like. Oh geez … here goes nothing. If I’m not back in 5 minutes, please call the paramedics (and my dentist).

I don’t really want to taste it. My mouth it salivating like crazy as to warn me not to try.

But here goes…

It starts out a little tannic. Then it explodes with more tannins, along with massive sugar, cola, vanilla and cherry bubble bum horror.

A little liquorice is also in the mix, but nothing able to compete with the synthetic melange above.

After just a few sips it’s heart burn and cavities all over the place.

Like it’s little brother, this is not rum!

Disgusting. I’m done tasting this…

It doesn’t last very long, but it is still way too long.

With sticky teeth and an everlasting flavour of thick synthetic vanilla and cherry, I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. It’s that bad.

Rating and final thoughts
One of the worst drinks I have ever had.

No depth, nothing interesting. Just a doctored bucket of yuck.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but perhaps I hoped that in no way could the 10 year old be as bad as the 7 year old.

Once again we are dealing with a drink which is all about the marketing and nothing at all about the craft of distilling, barrel ageing or blending.

If the 7 year old was a massive fuck you to everybody who ever spent countless hours perfecting their craft, the 10 year old is a massive grin all the way to the bank.

Because even though this is totally undrinkable and probably one of the worst things to ever have been wrongfully named rum, people are forking over massive piles of cash for this crap.

Luckily it isn’t widely available anymore, so hopefully it is a closed chapter and Don Papa is done robbing people of €50 a bottle (I actually found references which showed a price of €70-80 – insane).

My advice would be to buy almost anything else. These guys don’t deserve your money.

I’m absolutely disgusted that a product like this can be sold as rum. It is so far away from being rum as anything could be.

And I’m not going to go easy on it this time. It has nothing to offer except for resentment, disappointment and type two diabetes.

Good riddance Don Papa 10 and thank you for nothing Burning Bleeding Heart Rum Company.

Rating: 42/100

It did succeed in luring in a couple of fruit flies and killed them almost instantly. That's got to mean something. Kudos.

(And now I got to call my dentist for an appointment ASAP and go get my anti heart burn medicine).


(Although I don’t feel too happy about actually sending traffic to their site).

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